For a good majority of my life, I never thought of myself as being a creative person. Inspiration was a word that was used when there wasn’t a concrete answer to be had.
I wouldn’t even dare put my name and “art” in the same sentence. Drawing and painting never came natural to me. As a child you couldn’t get me to stop singing and performing, but even it never stuck. I loved acting for a while and was decent enough, but the passion just wasn’t there. I could barely ever find myself getting lost in a fictional book.
The older I got, the more I embraced my non-creative self. I began to appreciate my love for making lists. Non-fiction books. Watching the news. Being good with finances. Being rational.
…But then, I went too far.
In order to find some sense of identity (which, in your early to mid-twenties is quite the dreadful interesting experience), I found myself put in a self-imposed box that wasn’t really me at all. I started to not only identify with this structured, Left Brain self, but I began to actually look down on all things creative and inspirational. I convinced myself it was silly to get your head lost in the clouds like that. Adults don’t do that.
When I graduated from college, I found myself living back at home, working for my dad’s company with little to no social life, and no hobbies or passions. I started this blog, but I didn’t have even a fraction of a life worth showing for. Needless to say, I had what I guess I’d say was a quarter life crisis. This structured life I had chosen wasn’t getting me anywhere…except stuck in a boring, passionless, uninspired life.
Something had to change.
To make a long story short, that’s when I decided to up and move to New York City. I had a logistical plan – finances, housing, job, etc. – but I had absolutely no idea where the move was going to lead me in life. That’s exactly what I hoped it would be, and that’s exactly what it turned out to be.
I think that’s why I have such a deep love for this city. Whether I live here for another year or another 10 years, there will always be a special place in my heart for the city that allowed me to become inspired. To reconnect with God on a whole new level. To meet the best friends I didn’t even know could exist. To experience things I never imagined I would.
And then of course…there’s this little old blog. As I’ve mentioned before, I couldn’t tell you what even inspired me to start GML. But I can honestly say it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made because of how much it forced me to learn about my likes, dislikes, purpose, and that it’s actually okay to allow myself to be inspired by life.
I may not be an artist, poet, singer, or designer.
But I can get lost for hours looking at images of people and places.
One quote can literally change my day.
I get way too deeply attached to certain songs.
Give me a good meal and I literally cannot shut up about it.
Movies. Just…movies.
My vivid imagination and memory sometimes drives me crazy. In a good way.
My heart explodes at the sight or sound of romance.
I worship and belong to a God who created the heavens and the earth, but who also knows my heart’s deepest desires, the number of hairs on my head, my darkest secrets, and loves me anyway.
Creative? Maybe I’m not the most.
But inspired? In this beautiful, confusing, incomprehensible world? Absolutely.
Love this. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my twenties..my identity…what actually makes me happy and feel alive…career choices…all of that nonsense. Beautiful post, Gracie!
Thanks Clare
Clearly we’re on the same wave length right now - the 20’s question on your blog really got me thinking too!
great post! I am experiencing the same thing right now… I’ve been in school my entire life, and am in my last 29 days (but who is counting) of my PhD coursework in Colorado Springs. I’m moving to Tacoma, WA for my one-year pre-doc residency, and am so excited for the change. I am aching for some inspiration because my life here has been so structured and has become so very stale. Who knows, maybe I will start a blog
Wow, that is HUGE! Congrats, Annie. Let me know if you do go the blogging route! 😉
Awesome post, Gracie!!
thanks babe! :*
Don’t undercut yourself! I have never met you but totally consider you a creative, passionate person. Look at all you have done in the last year! You are truly inspired…and inspirational! I am turning 26 next month and just now feel like some things are starting to fall into place and make it all worth it…I am considering some serious life changes in the next 6 months or so, and I finally feel like I am ready to handle it all! Such a transient but necessary time in our lives.
Thanks for that, Sam! I just turned 26 last month and it was definitely the biggest transition year of my life thus far. Best of luck with everything, and happy early birthday
I absolutely LOVE this post!! As one who is trying to find herself all over again, and knows that the only way to do it is reconnect with God - it’s inspiring to hear other people’s experience.
Ah, so glad to hear that Liz <3
This is without a doubt my favorite post yet!! SO relatable and really well written!!
As a girl also in her mid 20s, I’m realizing it’s so easy to get caught up in the pressure of societal expectations (go to college, get a job, get married) and forget to do what makes you the happiest.
And also, I obviously don’t know you personally, but from reading your blog for a few months now I can say you are VERY creative!! Your photos, amazing sense of style, even the way you write are all examples of that! Give yourself more credit girl!
Ah, thank you so much for this comment Tamara! xo
Chantal says
Creative? Maybe not at drawing or painting, but writing seems to be a God given talent for you.
I don’t spend a lot of time reading blogs, but your ability to write is what keeps me coming back for more.
And more.
And more.
So give yourself some credit.
Wow, Chantal. Thank you SO much for that!
Whatever the reason was behind starting GML, I’m really glad you did. I can honestly say it’s one of my favorite blogs that I’ve ever come across. It’s real and your passion leaps off of the page which is beyond inspiring.. So, thank you.
I can identify with nearly everything you talk about in this post. The desire to be creative, getting too caught up in being rational, eventually finding a balance between the two…all of it. It’s kind of crazy to think about all that we’ve been through at such a young age.
Emily, thank you so much for this! You are such a sweet heart and I always look forward to comments from you
xo
Love this girl! God speaks through us in the coolest but most random ways. It’s pretty awesome.
love this gracie! i’ve been thinking a lot about this lately too. thanks for sharing!
Love this post! So relatable to my life right now! About to make the transition to city life. After reading this post I’m THAT much more excited!!
Yay, so glad to hear it!
Best of luck with the transition!!
Betsy says
Love, love, love this. I’ve been reading your blog for about a year now and I’m glad you decided to be more open in your blog posts. It’s nice to know that other people feel the same way as I do and that everything will be okay. I turned 25 this week and definitely had some serious quarter life crisis-like moments, but this post made me feel a lot better. I’m seriously considering a major move (like across the country…eek) and hopefully it brings much needed inspiration and change into my life as your move did for you!
Betsy, thank you so much for this comment. It’s always a little scary opening up about this sort of thing, so it really means a lot that it resonated with you
xoxo
what a lovely post!! it’s so easy to put yourself in that “box” of who you think you are and not be able to realize how unhappy you really are. it takes guts to make a change. good for you!!
I can definitely relate to this post. I don’t really have any creative talents but I do have passion and that’s a very defining characteristic in my opinion. Talent must be combined with passion to be worthwhile. Passion, alone, makes the sky the limit.
YES. that’s such a good way to put it - love that.
Everything about this blog post is a huge YES YES YES! for me. Thanks for being so open, honest and INSPIRING in your words lady. I’m inspired for you for making proactive changes in your life when you felt unhappy and taking each and every day as a huge gift.
Amazing. xo!
Clara says
Dear Gracie,
Thank you for such a beautiful post! You are inspired, and because of that you are inspiring!! I love reading your thoughtful, genuine posts in a world-wide-web that is more often filled with wants/needs/objects rather than contentment and joy. Thank you!
You are so welcome, Clara! Thank YOU for this comment