I know I say this every week, but today was pretty much thee perfect Saturday. There was that perfect balance of relaxing but also being quite productive. And, well, isn’t that what Saturdays are for?
This afternoon I made a batch of Jessica’s Loaded Blueberry Coconut Muffins. Need I say more?
I made a few slight adjustments to Jessica’s recipe. I subbed NuNaturals Erythritol Crystals for sugar, almond milk for coconut milk, and didn’t add any toppings. I also processed the shredded coconut for a couple of seconds to make it finer. I would’ve preferred it on the chunkier side, but my dad has pretty bad diverticulosis, so the smaller the better when it comes to coconut. Even with the adjustments, these muffins turned out to be simply phenom.
I enjoyed one straight out of the oven with a big mug of green tea because, well, it’s totally normal for a 23-year-old girl to have tea time by herself.
Naturally there was some butter-smothering going on.
Now I demand you to go make these muffins…or at least check out How Sweet It Is for some food porn amazing recipes.
the art of listening.
If you’re anything like me, you have a go-to person when you need to vent, discuss something, or even just tell a funny story. To me, that person is my mom. In fact, reason #593 why I love Momma Meets Health (and also why she’s my best friend) is because she listens to me. I mean, she really listens to me. Honestly, I can barely count the number of people that truly listen to me on one hand. I can’t help but feel like we’ve become such a selfish society, myself included, when it comes to having ourselves heard. I think that one of the healthiest habits we can adopt is to shut up and actually listen.
Have you ever felt like someone was talking at you, or that you were talking at someone? That’s because…we usually are. I’ll be the first to admit that when someone is talking to me – whether it’s about something important or something trivial – I’m usually thinking about what I’m going to say next. How selfish is that?! Not only is it selfish, but it stands in the way of truly forming meaningful relationships. And considering that cultivating relationships is one of my top 5 aspects of a healthy life, I believe that learning how to listen is crucial.
I’ve already admitted that I’m no expert when it comes to listening to others, but here are some ways I think we should practice becoming better listeners.
1. Stop thinking about what you’re going to say.
This can be hard at first because it’s such a natural habit, but try to consciously tune those thoughts out and hear what the other person is saying. You’d be surprised at how much differently conversations will go. Not to mention that you might actually learn something from the other person.
2. Empathize.
While being able to sympathize is important, I think that being empathetic is much more beneficial. Sometimes this isn’t always possible (especially when someone is going through something that you’ve never experienced), but at least try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Truly imagine yourself in their situation, and reflect on how you would be feeling. Not only will this allow you to provide better support for the other person, but once again – you’ll most likely learn things about yourself as well.
3. Don’t speak.
Okay, I’m not saying not to respond at all. But sometimes the best way to listen is to just…listen! When I have something that’s bothering or upsetting me, simply being able to vent makes me feel a million times better; no advice or response needed. That’s where my mom comes in. I can’t even imagine how boring and downright annoying it must be listening to my “issues,” but my mom will sit there and listen to me for as long as it takes. The best part about not speaking and just listening is that when you do go to give some sort of advice, it will most likely be the best advice that you can give because you’ve heard the whole story.
I really believe that being able to listen is one of the most important social skills we can have. Just think about how much more fruitful and meaningful our relationships would be if we all took a little time to listen to one another! So next time you’re interacting with someone (which, will probably happen within the next few minutes) keep these things in mind. Eventually listening will become a habit – one that I’m pretty sure you’ll never regret.
- Are you generally a talker or a listener? Be honest!
- Who is your go-to person when you need to vent or talk about something?
I saw these muffins over at Jessica’s blog, and now here… I think it’s a sign that they need to be tried out!
I think I am a decent empathetic listener, but do you ever have those conversations where you get so passionate/excited that it’s hard to wait for your turn? I talk to my hubby about everything, and he is a great listener. Men sometimes try too hard to fix things instead of just listening, but he’s great.
Speaking of the housewives of NJ, Danielle is getting more and more psychotic! Did you see how she was smirking the whole night at the Brownstone? Scary!
First off, I’m currently having tea time by myself, and it’s not weird at all.
Secondly, those muffins look great!
Those muffins look amazing. My afternoon was spent very similarly to yours…I feel like Danielle can’t be for real, she’s just TOO crazy, almost like Speidi!!
I’m definitely a listener. It takes a lot for me to open up, so I’m content to hear others out, though I have to say that I’m a really impatient person, so I can’t listen to people rant and rave about their problems for weeks. When I do need someone to talk to, I always go to my dad- he’s a great listener and gives awesome advice! Hope you have a great night love!!
I’m working on my listening skills right now. I want people to feel comfortable to come and talk to me when they need someone to listen. Thanks for the great advice
Glad you liked the muffins.
And thanks for the shout!! <3
Tea time is wonderful!! I have tea by myself all the time - and I’ve even gotten the husband hooked on it! No shame in that at all.
And you’re right - listening is definitely a skill. It’s also a skill that most people don’t work on developing anymore, which is too bad. I have a strong customer service background, and throughout the course of my professional life have taken at least 6 classes in listening, which just goes to show how important it is, both at home and at work!
As much as I enjoy talking about my interests, I tend to be a listener in friendships. I talk after I’ve really formulated what I want to say. And I like to ask people questions, to help myself understand them better and to be actively engaged in what they’re saying. When meeting new people, though, I agree, I sometimes think about what I’m going to say next because if I don’t, and I’m nervous, sometimes I say something that sounds silly! And then I just feel like a bonehead. LOL.
Love tea time! And while I do admit that I like to talk, I’m also a good listener and have been a venter to many of my friends in the past, which I love. The only time that I might talk too much is when I get nervous. Not because I don’t care, but because the silence is scary sometimes- haha!
But like you, I always vent to my mom. She’s one of my best friends and always gives good advice
Um, Danielle does not live in the real world. Neither do Jill and Kelly. (Seriously, KELLY??? Smoking crack much??)
And I am a talker. I hate to admit it, but all I want to do when I hear a problem is fix it, and sometimes I need to realize that may not be what the person is looking for me to do.
Those muffins look amazing
Love the tuna lettuce wraps! I agree, listening and processing what someone is saying is very important. Not only to them, but the art of patience is a useful skill.
Jenn
As soon as I saw those muffins, I’ve wanted to make them! So glad to hear they’re amazing (as I knew they would be). I also LOVE tuna + romaine and cherries sound like they’d do great with the combo. Have a great night :0)
I’m 23 and I have tea time by myself all the time.
Love what you said about listening. That is one of the most frustrating things for me, when I know people aren’t really listening-I wish they wouldn’t even pretend. I have this conversation all the time:
(them) How are you?
(me) okay, sick, actually.
(them) i’m fine too thanks.
I know it is just something you have to do here in Mozambique (greet people and ask how they are doing) but why bother asking if you don’t care about the answer?
Tea time is definitely something i’ve been raised to do, so I am all for it…at any age! The muffins look great too.
I really have been the listener for many of my friends but feel like I need to become a better one for my boyf. I feel like I am always eager to put in my own thoughts when maybe I should just listen…
great post lady!
I’ve been dying to make those muffins! I don’t have coconut. Is it OK to go to the store at 7:40 AM to buy coconut?
your blog is so versatile and i love it. This topic is so.freakin.true. SOmetimes I find myself so excited ina conversation that i’m barely listening- its terrible! this is a really really good reminder and something I think a lot of people should read
OMG, I need those muffins in my life STAT.
Thank you so much for posting this about listening. As a big time talker, I think being a good listener is something I really struggle with (it’s sad, but at least I can admit it) and I do want to be a better listener. Thanks for the great tips!!
I can talk a LOT, but I do also pride myself on being a very good listener. I never really thought about it for a long time, but SO many people have told me that I am a great listener that I guess I am. I really enjoy being supportive of those I care about and letting them know I can just be there for them. I bet you are a great listener too with your kind heart. But I also bet if we get the chance to meet there will be LOTS of talking on both ends. LOL
Couldn’t agree more about the importance of listening! I, too, can’t name just a ton of people that truly listen to me - but I can always count on my mom. And my roomie from college.
Great post, Gracie! I can admit that I really need to work on my listening skills. I am definitely guilty of the first thing you mentioned - thinking too much about what I am going to say. I really have to focus on putting all of my effort into listening, but it’s definitely worth it! I think people really notice when you’re truly listening to them, and it can help you develop a closer relationship. I know that when someone is truly listening to me, I feel more respected.
First thing- I really want to make those muffins.
Second thing- I’m glad you posted the portion about listening, too. I’ll admit, I’m a bit annoyed with a friend at the moment, and I’ve noticed myself slipping into the mistake of making the assumption that I know the whole story.
My momma is my listener too! I can hardly make any big decisions in life with out asking my mom her opinion too. Although sometimes when I get her response, I wish I would’ve kept my thoughts to myself. She can be a brutally honest as I ask her to be. but I think I’m a good lisener too!